Dear Readers,

Welcome to CollegeBored! A satire column written by us, Joanna and Anika. Here, we navigate the college admissions process and reflect on our experiences. 

Entering high school, we were both aware of Lexington High School’s infamous competitive culture. Unsurprisingly, college admissions is a popular topic among LHS students, even trickling down into freshman conversations.

Maybe you too have thought about college and have fully committed yourself towards attending a prestigious institution for medical school or law school. And maybe you haven’t. Looking back, the best advice we can give is to enter high school open to discovering your passion, while meeting cool people along the way.

Joanna’s POV: 

When I got into high school, I treated leadership positions like a game of Pokémon Go. And by that, I mean hastily trying to “catch them all” while avoiding the hit of rush hour. I also became pretty spiteful, side-eyeing my history and earth science teachers every time they handed me back a test (“you took off one point too many, Mr. King”). 

I even became suspicious of my classmates, who seemed too good to be true with their welcoming smiles and *shudder* eagerness to become friends. This was because, in my mind, I wanted to be a lone samurai: someone who made it to a top college all on her own, without the help of any friends, teachers, or mentors. 

What I’m saying is, while college can be an end goal, it’s not so viable when it causes you to lose out on things–including stuff like FRIENDS and COMMUNITIES, which help you in the long run. 

Thankfully, I’ve grown out of that samurai stage and am currently in the “wise sage” stage of my life–like Master Oogway or Yoda. Now, instead of stressing for college, I mumble enigmatic ramblings that no one understands and act like a senile grandpa. It’s not THAT much better, but hey, it’s a start!

Anika’s POV: 

Like Joanna, I totally felt like I had to collect every leadership role ever to be a competitive applicant for college. I thought I’d have time to get a 4.33 GPA, be president of tons of clubs, and still have a life (none of those things happened). 

While I’m guilty of watching a few too many “How I Got Into X Top College” videos— shout out to Hannah Loves Science— there’s no formula of getting into your dream school. And getting into your dream school is not the guaranteed formula to immediate success. 

You certainly shouldn’t base the next four years of your life on what you think a college admissions officer wants to see. Who knows what colleges will want by the time you graduate high school? Maybe being an under qualified applicant is a unique perspective that’ll add diversity (still crossing my fingers on that one). 

Instead of stressing yourself out, spend high school finding and doing what you love, making new friends, and figuring out how to walk up the stairs of the Main Building without getting winded. Especially the last one, since if you are anything like me, you’re going to be late anyway, so a couple more minutes won’t make a difference. 

I promise in a few years, you won’t be thinking about how you could’ve made your GPA 0.01 higher or whether you get an award because Sabrina Carpenter liked your comment on TikTok (definitely not based on a true story). In the end, you will remember the people you’ve met and how you’ve changed.

Our Parting Words (don’t worry, just for this issue):

We’ll be switching off every issue, so you’ll see a bit of both of us throughout the school year. Although this issue is pretty advice heavy, we’ll discuss everything from standardized testing to the most important part of your application— the CHECK DONATION HERE button. Don’t worry; we promise to rant about how much we hate the College Board, too. 

See you in the fall,

Joanna & Anika