Summoning a snow day is no easy task. It takes true determination, grit, and a test on the next day (5-7 tests are recommended for best results). Even if you are missing one of these elements, it simply will not work. So, before you read on, make sure you get those ingredients.

All right, did you get them yet? Good. Now, you must find a very high point; around 200-500 meters above sea level will work fine. Once you get there, you have to find a way to contact the weather gods. This is where our tips come in. As experienced summoners, we know how to find the weather gods every time. Remember that snow day earlier this year? Yeah, that was us. If you are a teacher reading this, we are deeply sorry for any inconvenience, but we had to do it.

This next step is particularly important. You have to summon the tests that you know you’ll fail, and manifest them to appear right in front of you. You have to make sure that you have not studied for this test yet, or else they won’t appear. The more clueless you are for the test, the better. Even opening the study guide that your teacher spent hours making for you can impact this. So whatever you do, don’t do any studying for those tests.

Now that the tests are in front of you, you have to leave them there. Hop in your car (or your parent’s car that you borrowed, with their permission of course), then drive, abiding to the speed limit, all the way to MIT to borrow some of their liquid nitrogen. It might be hard to convince them, but if you go during an event, I’m sure they will let you borrow a canister.

“MIT is very carefree about their liquid nitrogen. When I was a freshman, they even let me borrow a couple of barrels to make ice cream!” Snows Torm, a senior at LHS, said.

Afterwards, you’ll need to buy three bottles of Lex250’s $3.50 specially branded water bottles. Pour all three into a flower vase– your mom’s favorite one will do perfectly fine. Then, pour the liquid nitrogen over the water. You should start seeing a white gas. If you’re not seeing the white gas, throw the vase out of the window and try again using another vase. If you don’t have a vase, your backpack will work.

After you start seeing gas, quickly chop up your tests and drop them into the mixture. After five minutes, take them out and start throwing them at the rest of your schoolwork. Be as violent as possible. By the end, you should have relieved all of your stress and your schoolwork will be covered in white snow.

You are now done summoning a snow day! But before you celebrate, you should double check to make sure that it’s worked. You can check the weather report, but if you’re having trouble, you can also check to see if the snow day calculator is showing a 95% chance of a snow day (a 5% error is okay).

PS: If the procedures did not work for you, we suggest you email [email protected], as they handle most of the technicalities behind snowstorms. They can also give you tips on what you may have done wrong.

PPS: There is a slight chance that the snow day may be delayed to a day after you intended, and you will end up losing your best schedule day. If that happens, we take no responsibility for it. Consider this a warning.