Teacher Appreciation Day at Lexington High School this year will look slightly different. At the staff meeting on March 3, teachers discussed the growing disrespect from their students. Complaints ranged from students loudly snacking in class to showing up late with a venti Starbucks Pink Drink and large Qdoba quesadilla.
“These little gremlins have no manners. If they’re getting food, they should at least bring some for us,” Lordon Bamsay, a teacher at LHS, said.
Bamsay decided to act on this recurring issue, proposing a day where teachers teach students about something other than integrals and DBQs. Bamsay’s first idea was to fix the issue of students snacking in class.
“I have been teaching at LHS for two centuries, and my students have always been thinking about food every second of class. I can’t teach if they spend more time thinking about lunch than their footwork,” Drewbob Squaresocks, a square dancing teacher, said.
So this year on Teacher Appreciation Day, students will clean and decorate Commons I and II to create a luxury dining experience for their teachers. Teachers will pick their least favorite students to prepare a meal for them. (For teachers’ safety, though, the students will be told that they were chosen as the teacher’s favorite.)
Students will be expected to take the individual orders and cook the food in a timely manner.
“It’s the least they could do,” Squaresocks said. “It’s about time they showed some respect.”
Upon receiving the meals, teachers will have Aspen open on their laptops to enter their evaluations and grades of the students’ cooking. These scores will be reflected in students’ GPAs and will appear on official transcripts.
To teach students about timeliness, they will be given one hour to prepare the dish. If students are not out of the kitchen with the meal after time is up, teachers are permitted to squirt ketchup at them and smash their phones with a hammer.
“Who needs a phone jail in classrooms when you don’t have a phone?” Bamsay said.
The school administration is hopeful that this day will finally bring discipline to LHS’s students and turn them into more well-rounded, compassionate gremlins. Hopefully.
